I want to talk to you but my face
— Unique Quietness (via uniquequietness)
i think i accidentally ate some of my grandma’s ashes that were on her bed
MY GRANDMA SMOKES I MEANT CIGARETTE ASHES
There were these 12 year old boys hanging around. As I got my food and left they were all checking me out like little prepubescent lemurs and one of them said “Can I get your number?” And I turned around and said “Why, you need a babysitter?”
Bridge Burn (by Little Comets)
…the shore, it is a metaphor for every moment
that has ever passed between them
you may look like a bride but you will never bring your family honor
one day when i try to get a boyfriend this will come back to bite me
If he can’t appreciate this work of art he isn’t worth a damn
one time i got a fish and my dad made me name it james pond
a harry potter au where potions is taught by gordon ramsay
"YOUR DRAUGHT OF LIVING DEATH COULDN’T KILL A FRUIT FLY"
"YOU PUT SO MUCH GINGER IN THAT POTION IT TASTES LIKE A WEASLEY"
it tastes like a weasley
January: Selfie Olympics
February: Flappy Bird
lets see how the rest of the year goes
March: No Oscar for Leonardo DeCaprio
April: it’s a metaphors, you’re a metaphors, we are a metaphor, if I see another metaphor I’m going to kill someone
Wonder how July is gonna be
i will keep reblogging this each month
me when i get a better grade than the best student in my class
me before posting something on tumblr: no that could offend someone
"Help, I’ve fallen glamorously and I can’t get up ;]"
All of the other mannequins look like they’re so sick of his shit.
"God damn it, Jerry’s at it again.